Starting Over
by TM10
Summary: Monk:Beyond the Badge - Adrian Monk professes to not be the man he used to be. How will his life change? Will he have the courage to see Natalie as more than an assistant? Alas, nothing comes easy to our timid hero.
1. Chapter 1 Day One

Disclaimer:Monk is not mine; this story is mere fantasy.

Starting Over

Chapter 1 Day One

He was amazed that he woke up feeling so invigorated. Adrian stared at the ceiling replaying every word said yesterday in Leland's office, a smile on his lips. 'I'm not the man I use to be…' He had voluntarily returned his badge and was overjoyed because of it! Proud of himself and his courage to accept change. Today he was more than happy; he felt downright giddy. Monk looked up at the ceiling and burrowed back under his blankets with elation.

'It's been such a long time since I looked forward to a new day. I have a new attitude.' As he noticed a small crack in the ceiling, Monk momentarily frowned in puzzlement, 'that wasn't there last night…I need to get that fixed…wait, I'm in the middle of the bed!' He rose on his elbows to survey his bedroom and appreciated this new view. The smile returned to his lips as he lay back down, pondering how to celebrate. Here was yet another milestone in his journey forward and he wanted to commemorate it in an extra special way. 'I'm not going to dust this morning!' he resolved, delighted in the 'new dawn' of Adrian Monk.

* * *

Monk expectantly paced his apartment and could barely wait until 8am. After several weeks apart, Natalie was coming back as his assistant but, more importantly, was coming back 'to him'. He had spoken to her several times during their 'separation' and he had to make a confession. He had not missed her solely as an assistant; he had missed her, Natalie .He couldn't explain why, but it just felt wrong not having her around.

Now 7:45, Adrian began to feel nervous and lightheaded and wondered aloud "What's wrong with me, it's only Natalie…Why can't she be a little early today? Just because she knows I like her to arrive exactly at 8am doesn't mean she can't come early or late...Oh, I hope she's not late, maybe I should call her…" He started to reach for the phone but was startled when it started to ring. Checking the caller id, he relaxed when he saw it was Natalie. He answered the phone with a cheerful "Good morning!"

"Hey boss! I'm almost to your house and was wondering if I needed to stop and pick anything up?" Natalie was bubbly this morning. She was so relieved to be back with Mr. Monk and away from that arrogant concert promoter. Natalie's friends thought she was crazy to quit a job that had so many glamorous perks, but she hadn't been happy. Bored with making dinner reservations for spoiled musicians, she felt overjoyed that Mr. Monk had resigned and returned his badge. Natalie was thrilled he was content to remain a private consultant because she finally knew her calling in life; she was destined to be his assistant.

"Natalie! You don't need to stop anywhere…Just get yourself over here, we…" Adrian's mind drew a blank, as their daily routine suddenly seemed alien. There really was no reason for her to hurry over; they didn't have a case to work on or any errands to run or even chores around his apartment. Anxiety stirred in his gut as he began to fret over what they should do when she finally arrived...

"Hello? Are you still there, boss? Natalie noticed his distraction and became concerned.

"Yes, sorry….I just, hmm, saw some dust on the mantel…" Adrian stood at his window and looked up the street for her car."I'll see you soon."

"Okay, see you in a jiff."Natalie closed her phone and felt a twinge of worry. It was never a good thing when he sounded so distracted. Maybe he really was disappointed in not keeping his badge? They had talked about his 'changing' and how it was a major turning point, but she knew he was often plagued by self-doubt. Determined to be extra reassuring today, Natalie parked in front of his building and hurriedly rushed upstairs.

Natalie's concern grew as she arrived at his door and found it wide open. Pausing in the doorway, she heard a noise in the living room and quickly walked down the hallway. "Mr. Monk, I'm here! Why did you leave the door open? I still have my key …" Surprised by what she saw, she stopped talking. Natalie found Mr. Monk rearranging his bookcase, which was normal, but the top button of his shirt was undone! Her hand touching her own collar, she immediately approached him with a look of amusement on her face.

"Hey, what's going on? Is that on purpose?" Natalie released her own collar and playfully tugged at his.

Adrian swatted Natalie's hand away. "Can't a person try something new? I swear, Natalie, you need to loosen up." He straightened his collar but left the top button undone.

"Loosen up?" Natalie sputtered in disbelief, amazed at his audacity."You're the …" She was stunned into silence when she noticed a small sly grin creeping across his face. Natalie joined him in a smile "What I meant to say was... I like it very much…You look very GQ."

"GQ? …I have no idea what you're saying…Is that some sort of slang?" Adrian was genuinely puzzled. "No, forget I asked, don't tell me. I think I'm too old to learn another language."

Natalie was taken aback by the changes in her boss. He was dressing more casually, but, more importantly, he was very upbeat and jovial. "Mr. Monk! You are too funny…too old to learn, indeed! I am amazed at how happy you are today. You really are glad you resigned, aren't you?"

"Best thing I ever did…" Hearing Natalie cough, he continued,"…Except for my hiring you, of course! But I guess everything in life changes and, even though we don't notice it, we change as well." Adrian hesitated before continuing. "Natalie, I've been thinking, you know, about things have changed …between us, I mean. We are partners, after all, so I thought maybe you could call me by my first name?"

"Thank you…Adrian…partner. It's going to take a little getting used to, Adrian, but I like it." Natalie put her hand out to Monk, "Can we shake on it?" She knew she was really pushing her luck but was curious as to how much he had changed."I have a wipe in my bag if you need one, partner."

With only a second of hesitation, Adrian took Natalie's hand."Thanks but I don't need a wipe. I think I've built up a tolerance to your germs….Partner." He was not prepared, however, for what she did next. Natalie mischievously put her other hand on top of his, making it a three- handed handshake! Determined not to be unnerved by her shenanigans, he put his free hand on top of her hand and snickered."It'll take more than this to freak me out, Teeger!"

Natalie laughed in delight. "Good to know! I guess I'll have to refer to your phobia list…Maybe something to do with Milk?"

Adrian made a gagging sound and stepped back, releasing her hands. "There's no reason to be so evil, Natalie!"

"I'm sorry, Adrian, that wasn't very nice of me." She advanced towards Adrian, capturing his hand once again."I swear I won't mention the 'M' word unless absolutely necessary…" Natalie stopped in mid-sentence and let go of Monk's hand, sensing another presence in the room. Turning towards the living room entrance way, Natalie saw a shapely, curvy woman standing in the doorway. Hand raised to knock on the door jam, the stranger lowered her arm and strode across the room directly toward Monk, her eyes full of tears.

"I desperately need your help, Adrian!" She wrapped her arms around him and started to cry. Natalie was dumbfounded when Adrian put his arms around this sexy woman and stroked her back to comfort her. Natalie realized was also a little jealous.


	2. Chapter 2 My Brother is Innocent

Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes: I guess I should have mentioned at the start of Chapter 1- My story occurs right after 'The Badge' and before 'The End'–Don't look for Molly, she won't appear; but do look for sweet, gentle Randy- he hasn't moved to New Jersey (yet!) The forgettable and one-dimensional navy-boy will be disposed of rather quickly but, more importantly, the Lovable Leland, even though married to T.K., is his usual over-worked, grumpy self. Mr. Monk has not been poisoned nor has he solved Trudy's murder. --- Try to erase all memories of the Finale, I know I've tried!

Thanks for the reviews!

Chapter 2 My Brother is Innocent

Adrian waited until she finished crying before calmly offering a tissue to their new 'client'. "Are you okay?" he asked her innocently. She sniffled into the tissue a small 'yes.'

Adrian disentangled himself from the woman and, turning to Natalie, noticed the confusion on her face."Natalie, please let me introduce you to Varla Davis, she helped me out temporarily when Sharona needed to, you know, have some time away from me…Varla actually helped me resolve Sharona's problem." Varla turned her face to Natalie and offered a weak nod 'hello'.

"Pleased to meet you, Varla…I'm Natalie…Are you sure you're alright? How can we help you?" She took Varla by the arm and led her to the couch. "Please sit and tell us what's going on."

Varla smiled gratefully at Natalie and sat down."Thank you both….I knew you would help me, Adrian…I don't know where to begin exactly…My younger brother was arrested for something he didn't do…he's innocent, but the police have all sorts of circumstantial evidence against him…" Varla started to cry again and cradled her face in her hands.

Adrian looked at Natalie and tilted his head toward Varla, pleading with his eyes. Natalie took the hint and handed another tissue to Varla and tried to calm her. "Ssh...It's alright…Don't worry, Adrian will get to the bottom of this…Now Varla, what's he charged with?"

"Murder."

Adrian inhaled a deep breath and rolled his shoulders. "Varla, I need the details…Tell me, us, what you know." He then sat down in his leather chair and Natalie perched next to him on the arm of the chair. It took half a box of tissues but Varla managed to tell them everything she knew.

* * *

"Monk, I don't know what you expect to find" Leland was rooting through his file cabinet, looking for the case file on Marlon Davis. "I'm sorry Varla is upset by this but, unfortunately, her baby brother Marlon did a very bad thing….We have tons of evidence against the kid…He's what we call 'very guilty'."Leland eventually found the file and laid it on his desk.

"Leland, she says he's innocent. I promised I would check it out" Monk reached for the file.

"Captain, why didn't you call us in on this case?" Natalie demanded.

"Natalie, believe it or not, sometimes we _can _solve a case on our own…There wasn't anything weird or bizarre about this case, we had lots of hard evidence… This Marlon Davis was dating a woman, Kelly Jones, who mysteriously disappeared… We believe she was murdered. Ms. Jones' home was ransacked, all her jewelry stolen and her bank account was closed out and diverted to a foreign 'no-name' account… Marlon was seen arguing with her days before she went missing… He didn't deny having a relationship with this woman." Leland counted these facts off on his fingers, stressing his confidence in this case. "Lastly, we found some of her blood and hair in the trunk of his car…And he doesn't have an alibi for the night she went missing…It's an airtight case, sorry Natalie."

"Leland, so there isn't a body?" Adrian glanced up from the file.

"No, Monk, there isn't a body…But there is a huge ocean to the left of our little city and things are known to disappear there…Besides, how else would you explain her disappearance?" Leland's annoyance rose immeasurably as he stared at Monk."If you think there is something more to this case, help yourself…I just have to let you know that, unfortunately, the missing woman's house burnt down the day after we took on this case...The crime scene is gone….Oh, one more thing…because of severe overcrowding in the local jails, your new client was transferred up to Folsom State Prison yesterday…If you want to talk with him, you'll have to take that 90 mile commute north…" Leland heavily dropped to his chair and pointed to the case file, "Good luck with that now."

* * *

Natalie walked beside Adrian as they were leaving the station. "So where do we begin...That's a lot of evidence, and the Captain seems certain of Marlon's guilt." If there really was something wrong with the evidence, she knew Adrian would uncover it. But not having a crime scene would severely limit his ability to do the 'thing with his hands', the Zen-thing that helped him think. She absentmindedly rubbed his back as they exited the police station,"Come on, let's go back to my house."

"Why your house?" Adrian followed Natalie to her car. "Why can't I read this at my apartment?"

"Because Julie is going away on her trip this afternoon…She's going down to L.A. with her acting group, to attend some seminars and to visit some sound stages…She and I both told you about her trip last week, you must remember." Natalie unlocked her car and sighed in exasperation.

"Of course, I remember…"They both got into Natalie's car and he pulled his seat-belt on and waited for her to do the same."So you want to see if she's packed her luggage properly?"

Natalie started the car and pulled out into traffic. "No, silly, I want to see Her! …She's my baby and she'll be gone for a whole week…without any parental supervision…and L.A. is such a big city…"

"Natalie, you're getting worked up over nothing. Julie's a smart kid…She can take care of herself…I think you would be better off worrying about how she's packed!"

Natalie playfully tapped Adrian on the knee "you are _too_ funny…Now let me concentrate on driving, you read our new client's file."

Adrian opened the case file and distractedly looked at the first page. Scanning the page, Monk found he couldn't focus in on any of the words. Somehow he felt 'off'. He closed the file and observed Natalie._ Natalie_…Adrian could still feel the lingering touch of her hand on his knee. As if in a trance, he continued to gaze at her; there was a shadow on an idea floating round in his head but he couldn't get a hold of it…

Natalie caught a glimpse of Adrian staring at her. Bringing her hand to her cheek, she asked "What? Do I have a smudge on my face?"

He absentmindedly shook his head 'no' and turned back to the file, struggling with…no, he still wasn't sure what he was thinking.


	3. Chapter 3 That Seem Hinkey

Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Monk

Notes: My Grandmother used to say "Good riddance to bad news." –Remember that phrase!

FYI- New London, Connecticut, is a Naval Submarine Base - the primary submarine base in the US. -- Moffett Field, in SF, is closed as an active military base.

Chapter 3 That Seems Hinkey

Julie was waiting by the front door with her luggage when Natalie and Monk arrived home. "You guys are just in time to say goodbye…My ride just called and will be here any minute!" Julie shooed Mr. Monk away from her bag; she knew he would spend hours repacking it if given the chance."Don't touch that! Everything is packed together tight like a jack-in-the-box. It may spring open if you jostle it…Imagine socks and shirts flying all over the place!" She threw her arms up into the air, illustrating her point. Julie hoped his fear of chaos would override his need for organization and keep Monk out of her luggage.

"Julie, let me repack your bag, it's for your own good" Adrian pleaded with her."I can help you fix that death-trap!" Julie employed all her defensive-guard blocking skills as he tried to reach for her luggage.

Natalie came up behind Monk and roughly pushed him out of the foyer. "Please go into the living room and let me say goodbye to my only daughter." She then turned to Julie, who was busy trying to look past her out the window. Natalie began her inquisition."Are you sure you have everything you need? Do you have your cell phone and is it charged? Did you leave the names and phone numbers of your friends and the hotel by the kitchen phone?"

"Mom! I'll only be gone a week…Yes; the numbers are in the kitchen…stop worrying! It's not like I'm going to L.A. to pose as a hit man for the FBI…"Julie rolled her eyes at Mr. Monk."…The most dangerous thing I'm going to do is walk around a sound stage with self-important writers and weirdo actors…" Julie paused when she heard a car horn outside."That's my ride. Bye Mom, I love you!"Julie hugged her mom then ran over to Adrian and unexpectedly hugged him as well. "Bye Mr. Monk, I'll miss you!" She then scooped up her luggage and ran out the front door.

"Bye, honey…" Natalie stood in the open doorway and watched as the car pull away and drive up the street. With tears in her eyes, she closed the door and rejoined Adrian in the living room."I guess we'll have plenty of peace and quiet to read that case file…"Natalie sniffed and plopped herself down on the sofa. With a blank look on her face, she wrapped herself in a hug and loudly sighed.

Monk placed the file on the coffee table in front on Natalie and sat beside her. "How about we have lunch first?"Natalie blankly stared out into space and remained silent. "How about you stay here and I make us lunch?"Again silence. He leaned sideways and pushed her with his shoulder "Natalie? Earth to Natalie…Hello?"

"I'm sorry, Mm…Adrian, of course we can have lunch first…I'll help you."Natalie rose and started for the kitchen."I apologize for being distracted…" she snickered "…I'm distracted and you're babysitting me! How is that for a change?"

"Natalie, we're partners. Maybe we just have to, you know, take turns babysitting each other…" Monk started to raid the refrigerator and grimaced as he removed a rotting head of lettuce. "…And clean out each other's refrigerators…Change isn't always horrible...." He paused and tilted his head as if hearing something in the distance "I can't believe I said that!"

Natalie surveyed Monk and grinned "Change can be a good thing, Adrian." While they ate lunch, Natalie silently kept replaying that sentence in her mind.

* * *

After they had finished eating and cleaning the dishes, Adrian grabbed the case file and brought it to the dining room table. He then took his jacket off and carefully hung it on the back of a chair. Monk then broke the file down into different categories and placed them in separate piles; crime scene photos, forensic data, witness statements, etc. "Okay, Natalie, if you would, start with the pile at the far end of the table and I'll start here…Take notes on what seems out of place to you…I'll be doing the same thing, but mentally of course, and we'll decide where we want to go from there."

Natalie was both flattered and apprehensive. Adrian had never before asked her to scan for clues and give her opinion! "But what am I looking for? I'm no expert on this…police stuff." She waved her hands over the table and furrowed her brow.

"Just look for anything that seems, you know, hinkey…This is all very preliminary. We first need to get a sense of the case and it's supporting 'facts'. The 'facts' may not be true though, so don't assume anything you read is correct." Adrian glanced at Natalie and knew she was anxious."Hey, you knew John Hannigan was guilty before I did…You're instincts are good, don't doubt yourself."

Natalie smiled at that compliment, musing to herself 'I have good instincts! He trusts me so I should trust myself…' She went and retrieved a notepad and then sat at the table, reaching for the first stack of papers. They read all afternoon, pausing only when Natalie noticed it was getting dark outside.

"Okay, Adrian, time to take a dinner break."Natalie knew that when he got engrossed in a case, he wouldn't stop working unless she made him stop. At these times, she almost felt as though she was his boss.

By 10PM, they had read every scrap of paper and studied every photograph and were both getting bleary eyed. Natalie had taken pages of notes and was flipping through them. "So what's our next move?"She suppressed a yawn as she rubbed her stiff neck.

"Tomorrow we go to prison…get Marlon's version of what happened…" Adrian stood up and stretched, and then proceeded to gather the file together in its proper order."Something is not right …" he tapped the file,"but let's wait until we've slept on it before we discuss it…Don't bother getting up to drive me home, I'm going to walk. Maybe I'll figure out what's bothering me with this case." Putting on his jacket, he tilted his head towards Natalie "Are you going to be alright here…by yourself, I mean?"

She came up to him and took him by the arm, escorting him to the door. "I'll be fine…I'm sorry I was so dramatic earlier…"Natalie opened the door and turned her head to yawn. "Thanks for sparing me the ride to your place tonight…I'll see you tomorrow at 8 sharp."Standing on her tip toes, she planted a swift kiss on his cheek."Be careful going home…watch yourself, it's late and who knows who's out lurking around…especially near Vinton Street…"

"Natalie, save your worrying for tomorrow when we're surrounded by thousands of inmates…Sleep well then." Adrian headed across the front porch and down the steps. Looking back, he noticed her still standing in the doorway. "Close the door, Natalie!" he called as he headed up the street.

When he got to the end of the street, Adrian stopped and turned around to look at Natalie's house. She had already turned the downstairs lights off, but the porch light was still lit and the upstairs was aglow. Adrian brushed his cheek and looked again at the porch, wondering if Natalie's nights were ever as desolate as his.

Natalie had just turned all the downstairs lights off and went to the front window. Pulling back the curtains, she could see Adrian standing at the end of her street. She put her hand on the windowpane and wished "Sweet dreams, Adrian." Natalie then returned to the dark kitchen and turned on the light above the range. She bit her lip and stared contemptuously at the stack of mail piled next to her. From the bottom of the stack, she retrieved the letter from Steven. With a sigh, she reread his note.

_Dear Natalie, This is the hardest letter I've ever had to write. As you know, I'm stationed in New London for the next four months. Recently, my former fiancé visited me here, and it was like old times. We've decided to give our relationship another chance. You are a wonderful woman, Natalie, but I can never replace Mitch. I'm sorry for any pain I may have caused you-I wish you a happy life. -Steven_

Natalie turned the front burner of the stove on and held the letter above the flame. Tipping the corner of the paper into the fire, Natalie scornfully mocked,"You're damn right you could never replace Mitch!" Placing the burning note in the sink, she watched it turn to ash before dousing it with water and heading off to bed.


	4. Chapter 4 Going To Prison

Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Monk

Notes: Once in a blue moon, prison can be magical!

Thanks for all the reviews (and for the bonus points)!

Chapter 4 Going to Prison

As she drove to Adrian's apartment, Natalie was mentally preparing herself for a long, stressful day. She and Adrian were going to drive up to Folsom State Prison to speak with Marlon Davis. It was bad enough the ride was a two hour drive in each direction, barring any traffic problems. The prison was her major concern; between the very personal search conducted by a guard and the claustrophobic confinement of the visiting cell, she was worried for Adrian's emotional well-being. Even though he had learned to 'suck it up' and confront difficult situations head on, Natalie could still sense his inner panic. Parking her car in front of his building, she took a deep breath as she planned on being extra reassuring today.

Natalie started to undo her seatbelt, only to stop when she heard a knocking on the passenger window. Adrian stood there with one hand poised on the door handle, file tucked under his arm."Morning, Natalie…ready for our field trip?" he asked as he slid into his seat.

"Hey, Adrian. Yeah, I'm ready. You seem raring to go…You didn't solve the case last night on your walk home?" Natalie waited until he buckled his seat belt before she pulled out into traffic and aimed the car north.

"No, I didn't solve it yet because I just need to ask Marlon a few questions…I know there is something is wrong with the state's evidence against him… "Adrian grew silent and cringed as he watched Natalie merge onto the highway. He trusted her driving but the other cars around him made him a bit nervous.

"Don't worry about the traffic…" Natalie read his discomfort," we'll be out of this heavy local traffic in a bit and then it'll be an easy drive on open highway…"She reached over and squeezed his arm."So, talk to me about. What's weird about the case?"

"Well, it seems Marlon did have some valid answers to dispute the 'solid evidence'. First, he said the blood and hair got in his trunk last week…He had been rollerblading with Kelly the week before and she had fallen and badly scraped her shoulder. She was bleeding and so she held a towel to her wound. He then placed the towel in his trunk along with their skates when he took her home. So his story does make sense…Second, he explained his lack of alibi. He always works a double shift on Thursdays and then has Fridays off, right?" Natalie nodded yes, having remembered his work schedule."So, every Friday he would turn his phone off and sleep late and just basically hang around his house alone…His lack of an alibi is actually a good thing because it fits an established pattern…."

"You sound as if you believe his story…so why are we taking a 4 hour trip to speak with him?" Natalie noted they were only 20 miles into the trip and was perfectly willing to turn back at the next exit.

"Well, I wanted to ask him about the pictures on her mantle…From the crime scene photo, it appears as though a picture could be missing…If she had faked her own disappearance, she might have taken it with her…That would easily explain her missing jewelry and the conversion of her bank account over to an untraceable account…And since her house burned down, no one would know what sort of personal items were missing."

"But how did she start the fire the day after the police where at her house and she was presumed dead?" Natalie questioned as she engaged the cruise control.

"That's the conundrum." Adrian opened the file and scrutinized the photos. He knew the answer was hidden in plain sight.

-------------------

Much to Natalie's relief, the guard's search was superficial and painless and they were quickly escorted to a visiting room. Marlon was already waiting for them, his hands still cuffed together. He offered them a two-handed wave 'hello' as he thanked them for visiting.

"I can't tell you how glad you're on my side, Mr. Monk and Ms. Teeger. When Varla visited me yesterday and told me you'd agreed to help me, I knew things were going to be okay…Please sit and ask whatever…I don't have anything to hide."

From the hour long interview, Monk learned that Kelly Jones had recently had a falling out with her very rich father. Mr. Jones had recently married a much younger woman, soon after Kelly's mother had unexpectedly died. Kelly had been very close to her mother and hated the new, much younger stepmother… After seeing the crime scene photo of Kelly's mantle, Marlon was positive there was a picture missing; it was of Kelly with her late mother, taken somewhere in Washington State_. Now Monk had an idea as to why Kelly disappeared and where to look for her._

At the end of the interview, a guard came in to take Marlon Davis back to his cell. "I've got to take him first, so I have to leave you two locked in this room for about ten minutes, okay?" Monk and Natalie nodded as he took Marlon from the room and locked the door behind him.

Sensing Adrian's uneasiness, Natalie attempted to distract him with idle conversation about their car ride home."Maybe we'll get home by dinner time…that will be nice, won't it?" Monk just nodded and let her ramble on…

After about 5 minutes of pacing and uneasy small talk, Adrian and Natalie heard a very loud, shrill alarm. Adrian rushed to the door in a panic and pulled at the locked door. Natalie came to his side "What's going on…Is there someone trying to escape or something?"

"I'm trying to escape!" Adrian shouted as he started to pound on the door's window. "Help…Innocent people in here…let us out!!!" He had gone pale as a ghost and seemed to be hyperventilating. His claustrophobia had returned with a vengeance.

Natalie unsuccessfully tried to pull him away from the door. "Calm down…Maybe it's just some sort of training exercise for the guards…we're okay in here…if we can't get out, the inmates can't get in…we're fine…" Even though she attempted to calm Adrian, she really was scared.

A guard stopped in front of the door's window and waved to get their attention. "Sorry about all the excitement…there was a fight on the yard and this is standard security practice…We need to leave you in there until the inmates are squared away…Just hang tight, it won't be too long." He turned and headed back towards the cell block.

"See, I told you…we'll be out in no time…nothing to be worried about…" Natalie felt a wave of relief but could tell Adrian's anxiety was sky high."Come her…I promise, it's alright." She wrapped her arms around his rigid shoulders and pulled him tight. "Ssh... I've got you."Natalie stroked his back and brought one hand to the back of his neck and massaged him. "You're doing good…"

Adrian didn't hear the guard's reassurance; he was having a full-blown anxiety attack. The floor had disappeared from under his feet and a loud roar filled his ears. Lost in a blinding panic, his chest tightened and mouth went dry. Trying to calm himself, he tried to find something to concentrate on… anything…He gradually became aware of warmth…arms holding him and petting him…unrecognizable words, but the tone was comforting…Thank God, it was Natalie! He buried his face in her neck and concentrated on her…her warmth…her scent…her soft voice…her protective arms that made him safe…Unaware of his own actions, Adrian slid his arms around Natalie's waist, pulling her in tight. His anxiety began to subside but he still held on for dear life. Gradually, Adrian began to calm down, only to realize how close he was holding Natalie, how wonderful she smelled, how soft she was…

With her arms still holding him, Natalie grew concerned. She could have sworn he had begun to calm down, his breathing and wild heartbeat had started to slow, but, all of a sudden, he once again seemed unsettled. She felt his ragged breathing on her neck and noticed how tightly he was holding her. Natalie hoped the guard would let them out soon; she continued to hold Adrian as she softly cooed in his ear "I've got you…ssh…"

* * *

Two hours later, Natalie and Adrian were in the car on the way home. Both deep in thought, they were quiet the whole ride home. She stared at the traffic in front of her and he watched the passing scenery. Unbeknownst to the other, they were each reliving their unplanned embrace.


	5. Chapter 5 Scene of the Crime

Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes: Thank y'all for the reviews! ----Sorry today's post is so late – I've been out shoveling snow!—Also, I won't be posting for the next few days (did I mention it's still snowing?- I'll be outside for days!) Thanks for your patience.

_Chapter 5 The Scene of the Crime_

Adrian sat at his desk, staring at the clock. It was almost 8AM and he had been watching the second hand make countless revolutions all night. Well, not actually countless because he did count how many laps that hand had passed since 10PM the previous night. Thirty-five thousand, nine hundred and ninety five times, and counting. Each tick of the hand pushed him towards an unexpected realization. The biggest change in his life by far… He wanted to quit mourning Trudy and be happy again… With Natalie… He depended on her and trusted her and, no matter what, she had always been there for him. Natalie had to be the key to his future happiness. But could she or, would she, ever see past all his problems? Could she ever see him as more than her partner and friend? Would it even be possible? And, most importantly, would Trudy ever grant her approval?

Natalie arrived at Monk's apartment at 8AM, hoping he had had a better night than she… After a night of fitful sleep, she awoke at 4AM with a feeling of dismay. She had dreamt the most vivid nightmare… Natalie and Monk were laughing together in a parking garage when suddenly they heard an explosion. Adrian quickly pushed Natalie away and ran towards a wall of flame, leaving Natalie to fade into nothingness; while disappearing, Natalie watched as Adrian hopelessly attempted to save Trudy…

Natalie confessed to herself that yesterday's embrace had uncovered emotions she had long since learned to ignore. Feelings she was sure would forever go unrequited… Natalie sheepishly admitted she had never really cared for Steven Albright. He had simply been a ghostly reminder of Mitch and, a current distraction from Adrian…Suppressing her true emotions, Natalie entered Adrian's apartment and found him at his desk, lost in a daydream.

* * *

Monk had decided that they needed to visit the home of Kelly Jones. Well, the sooty remains of her home…Natalie watched in admiration as Adrian did his 'Zen-thing', visually sweeping the rooms with his hand held aloft. This was always her second most favorite part about working with Monk…Her favorite part was when he said 'here's what happened' and he got that blissful look on his face. She loved to see him happy…Natalie tried to stop her next thought but couldn't. 'I love _him_…' Shaking her head quickly, she tried to erase that thought from her mind.

Not wanting to be a distraction, she attempted to stay out of his line of vision. Natalie kept her eyes on Adrian and stepped backward towards the kitchen. Unfortunately, a charred lump of something, rendered unidentifiable by the fire, was directly under her left foot. She twisted her ankle and fell most ungracefully on her backside. A rising poof of soot surrounded her and made her choke on her expletive..."Oh damn…Owww!!"

Monk heard her yell and came to the kitchen, waving his hand to shoo away the rising cloud of ash. "Natalie…What happened? Are you okay?" Coughing out his question, he squatted down next to her, full of concern.

"Yeah, I just wasn't looking when I stepped back… I think I twisted my ankle pretty bad…Can you help me up?" Natalie reached her hands up to Monk but he hesitated when he noticed they were covered in soot.

Reaching into his pocket, he removed some wipes and proceeded to clean her hands. "Wait one second…almost clean…Okay, are you sure you can stand?"He grasped Natalie's hands and stood over her, waiting for her answer.

"I think I can stand…just help me please! I'm not happy sitting on this filthy floor!"Natalie whined. As Adrian pulled her up, she found she couldn't put any weight on her foot. She threw her arm over his shoulder with a wince."Please help me out of here and..." noticing the soot covering the back of her legs,"…help me get cleaned up."

Adrian helped Natalie slowly limp from the building and to her car. He then helped her lean against the front fender, making sure she kept her weight off her left foot. Taking her car keys, Monk found a towel in the trunk and handed it to Natalie."Here, brush yourself off with this."

Natalie grabbed the towel but couldn't reach around herself while leaning on the fender."Here, you'll need to do it…I can't reach."Natalie placed the towel on the car's hood and then turned her back to him. She shifted her weight forward to her hands, which were solidly resting on the car's hood. Standing in the classic 'search and arrest' stance, she looked over her shoulder,"Come on…clean me off, please!"

Adrian took the towel and, with a shoulder roll, surveyed Natalie's backside and legs. Standing behind her, he gingerly placed one hand on her waist as knelt down on one knee, bringing him eye level with her …soot. Clutching the towel in a death-grip, Monk attempted to clean the ash from her, hmm, personal area, and down her legs. He stood and released his hand from her waist when she was reasonably clean."There, you look pretty good…I mean, you're, you know, pretty clean." Adrian hastily went to put the towel in the car trunk before Natalie could turn around. His face felt uncomfortably warm and didn't want her to notice his blushing. Purposefully concentrating on refolding the dirty towel and wiping his hands clean, he took a few extra 'cleansing breaths' before closing the car's trunk.

"Natalie, don't argue with me…"Adrian calmly said as he returned to her side. "…But I'm going to drive you home…It's only a 10 minute drive, I'll get you home safely." He took her arm in his and escorted her around to the passenger side. "I had to get my driving recertified when I was reinstated, so there's no need for you to worry."Adrian helped her into her seat and then went around the car, keys in hand, and slid into the driver's seat. Holding his breath, he started the car and winked at Natalie,"Really, don't worry. I'm an excellent driver."

When they arrived safely, Natalie turned to Adrian and sighed in relief, "You're right, Rainman, you're an excellent driver!"

* * *

Her relief was short lived, however; it would take some fancy choreography to get Natalie up her front stairs. Natalie had never realized how steep those dozen front steps were, and found she was unable to pull herself up by the railing alone."Come here, Adrian. You'll need to support me getting up the stairs." Facing away from her house, she made Adrian stand in front of her as she put her arms around his shoulders. Putting all her weight on him, she hobbled backwards up the stairs as he held her, following one step behind. Once to the porch, Natalie grabbed onto Adrian's arm and allowed him to lead her to the front door."Everything else should be easy compared to those steps…"Natalie puffed as she waited for Adrian to put the key in the lock.

Leading her to the couch, Adrian helped her settle down and then placed a pillow on the coffee table and elevated her foot. "Stay right there, I'll get some ice for that…"Pointing at her ankle. Returning with a bag of ice wrapped in a dish cloth, he gently placed it over the sprain. "Are you comfortable? Do you need anything else…Maybe a drink?"

"No, thanks... I just want to rest a few minutes and let the ice take down some of the swelling…Then I really want to take a shower. I feel like there's a thin layer of ash all over me!" Natalie made a show of rubbing her face with a tissue,"See? I'm filthy!"

Adrian rapidly blinked his eyes and looked at Natalie. Surely she wasn't expecting any help, was she? He nervously cleared his throat, "How can you…will you be able to, you know, I mean, can you stand up by yourself?"Monk managed to back away from Natalie and nervously stood behind a chair.

"I'll be fine. I just need you to run upstairs and get my pajamas from my bedroom. Would you mind? I'll be able to take a shower in the downstairs bathroom and I'll sleep down here, on the couch, tonight." Natalie removed the ice from her ankle and noticed the swelling had already started to come down. "See? I'm already getting better!"

"I'll be down in a moment. " Adrian climbed the stairs and headed into Natalie's room. He paused at the doorway, feeling as though he was about to trespass onto private property. Reminding himself Natalie sent him here to fetch clothes, he entered the room. When Adrian got to her bed, he couldn't help but notice the two pictures on the nightstand. The first one was a family portrait of Natalie, Mitch and Julie, but the other picture surprised him. Taken three Christmases ago, it was of Natalie, Julie and himself; he was wearing a silly Santa hat and they were all happily smiling for the camera. 'Another family portrait' he uttered as touched its frame. As he gathered her pajamas from under her pillow, he caught his reflection in her dresser's mirror."Maybe it is possible?"


	6. Chapter 6 Work From Home

_**Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Monk.**_

_**Notes: Thanks for the reviews!**_

_**A bouquet of thanks to Monkwriter, for the encouragement and editorial notes!**_

_**Adrianne C. –thanks for listening to a crazy person!**_

_Chapter 6 Work from Home_

Natalie vigorously scrubbed the soot from her skin as she splashed under the near- scalding hot water. Her ankle still ached a little bit, but not enough to prevent her from taking an extra long shower. As she meticulously cleaned herself, Natalie replayed this past week over in her head. Yes, they were working on a tough case, but that wasn't the only thing happening. She felt a change was happening between her and Adrian, something life altering. She was sure he too must have noticed this shift in their relationship, he noticed everything! Dare she say anything? Without a clear answer, Natalie turned the shower off and carefully climbed out of the tub. Slowly drying and dressing herself, she exited the bathroom and found Adrian waiting in the living room.

I hope you don't mind, I found some sheets and blankets and made up the couch for you." Adrian approached Natalie, offering his arm."Here, let me help you get settled." Safely back on the couch, Natalie discovered a small lunch cooler on the floor beside the couch and lifted it questioningly. Adrian answered her puzzled expression, "I put bags of ice in there so if tonight you need some for your ankle, you don't have to get up."

Blankly looking at Adrian, Natalie was struck by his thoughtfulness."Thank you so much…I hope you don't mind, but I took a pill for the pain before my shower and now I'm feeling really sleepy. I'm sorry I can't drive you home. -And that I'm ready to fall asleep any moment. Do you mind?"She yawned as she pulled the covers up to her chin. Before Adrian had a chance to answer, she was gently snoring.

Since she'd fallen asleep, Adrian searched for a pad of paper and jotted off a short note.

_ Natalie-Don't try and climb the stairs by yourself. I'll be here early tomorrow to help. Call me if you need anything. –A _

_ PS. I took your keys._

Placing the note and her cell phone on the coffee table, Adrian knelt down in front of the couch and looked at Natalie. He reached over and brushed a stray hair off her face and, unable to stop himself, straightened her rumpled blanket. Taking her keys, he turned off all the lights, save a dim light in the kitchen. Locking her front door, he began the long walk home.

* * *

Unlocking Natalie's front door, Adrian was mildly annoyed to find Natalie in the kitchen making breakfast. "It's only 7AM, why are you up so early? …And why are you standing up?" He placed her keys on the coffee table and noticed that not only had she put away all the linens, she was also fully dressed. "What happened to taking it easy today and resting your sprained ankle?"

"It feels so much better today…the ice really did the job."Natalie was dropping pancake batter on a skillet. "Come have some breakfast, it's the least I can do to repay you for yesterday…I feel so dumb, falling in the middle of a crime scene… Did I mess anything up?" She handed him a plate of four perfectly round hotcakes.

Pouring a moat of syrup around the pancakes, he settled in at the table."Don't worry about messing up the crime scene…the fire took care of that…So how did you manage the stairs?"Adrian pointed to her change of clothes.

" I sat on my butt and 'crab-walked' like a two year old!" Natalie laughed at her own ingenuity.

"Oh God!" Adrian was mortified by the thought of her scooting up and down the stairs on her backside. "You wasted your time getting dressed, though. Today I wanted to reenact the crime scene. Pre-fire damaged, that is…Right here in your living room…" He pointed to the front room"…Kelly Jones's living room had basically the same layout. I want to copy the position of a few items around your living room and see if anything jumps out." He tilted his head, trying to dislodge the hidden clue.

"Whatever you want…lets enjoy our breakfast first, okay?" Natalie rose from the table a retrieved a warm plate of pancakes from the oven."I made too many, so dig in!"

After scrubbing all the dishes, glasses, cookware and silverware spotless, and putting everything away, Adrian and Natalie went into the living room. Natalie sat on the couch and handed Monk all the crime scene photos. After studying them for a few moments, he began to move things around the room.

"So her mantle was arranged as so..." Adrian took everything but eight pictures off the mantle and placed the pictures in the same configuration. "And two wine glasses were found on her coffee table-" he went to the kitchen and got two wine glasses and placed them accordingly. He then picked up a throw blanket and grudgingly put it on the floor between the coffee table and the fireplace. Moving some other pieces of furniture around the room, Monk was reasonably satisfied with his 'crime scene'.

With his hands held aloft in front of him, he slowly circled the room. After a few minutes, he scrunched his eyes and shook his head."No, the room isn't right. Something is missing." Referring to the photos once again, he went and retrieved Natalie's vacuum from the closet. Placing it behind the sofa, he took another turn around the room. Stopping in front of the fireplace, he once again looked at a photo. Adrian then turned to look at Natalie and smiled.

"You solved the case, didn't you?"Natalie jumped up excitedly.

"Natalie, would you ever leave your vacuum in the center of the room?" Adrian cocked his head sideways, a smile still on her face.

"No, of course not. What does the vacuum have to do with her disappearance and the fire?"

"The vacuum is the _reason _for the fire…See in the picture how neat and clean her living room is? All the other rooms in her house were ransacked, except the living room…That means the key to solving the case is in this room....So there are two wine glasses out in front of the fireplace but, there aren't many ashes in the fire box…Well, not before the big fire, anyway. Anyway, my point is, she set the stage. Kelly made it look like she and Marlon were, you know, having a, hmm, romantic night together…. But she vacuumed up most of the ashes, knowing that they would remain smoldering inside the vacuum. The ashes would then ignite in a day or two. It was like a slow acting fuse. The vacuum was then placed next to the couch, a very big and flammable item. This Kelly Jones was very tricky and very vindictive. Ms. Jones knew the cops would only have a day to gather evidence and then would have to rely on collected data to make the case against Marlon. There wouldn't be the opportunity to find conflicting evidence which could exonerate him."

"How did she get his fingerprints on the wineglass?" Natalie asked.

"She probably 'saved' glasses they had used previously…There's no way to tell how recent fingerprints are if they are reasonably fresh, say between a week or two."Monk toyed with one of the glasses on the coffee table.

"But why did she do all this?" Natalie wondered, knowing a lot of cases are solved by uncovering their motives.

"She set Marlon up for her 'murder' because he was breaking things off with her…Remember the argument caught on video surveillance? That played into her plan. And she hated her father for remarrying so soon after her mother's death. He owned the house she lived in, so I'm sure she burnt the house down because she wanted to hurt him. She took what she wanted from the house and transferred her money to an untraceable account so she could start her life over…Possibly were that photo of her and her mother was taken."

"So how do we find this woman?" Natalie wanted to locate Kelly Jones and personally arrest her. Outraged, she took the picture of Kelly Jones from the file and slammed it on the table. "What kind of detestable person frames an innocent man?"

"I don't know Natalie. So let's call her father and find out when we can ask him some questions. Chances are Mr. Jones will be able to tell us where Kelly would have run away to."

After a few calls trying to find Mr. Jones, Natalie learned he was out of town until the next morning. She made arrangements with his secretary for a meeting downtown at 10AM sharp. "Guess we have the rest of today off?" Natalie suggested to Monk.

"Maybe after we go down to the precinct and give Leland a heads up on what's happening in the case?"Adrian ruefully asked in return.

"That's fine, but you're driving!" Natalie tossed her keys to Monk and laughed."I like being chauffeured around!"


	7. Chapter 7 Hazardous Duty Pay

Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes: Once again, a big thank you for leaving a review!

Monkwriter- Thanks for playing the role of the punctuation police! LOL -Word!

Chapter 7 Hazardous Duty Pay

Arriving early for their scheduled 10AM meeting, Natalie and Adrian were in a heated debate over how to question Mr. Jones. Natalie was still furious about Kelly's deceit and wanted to tell her father all about case. Exiting the driver's seat of her car, Natalie slammed the door closed. "Kelly Jones deserves to rot in jail. She's pure evil and I think we should tell her father everything she's done!"

Adrian calmly shut his door and followed Natalie into the office building. "If we tell Mr. Jones that Kelly may still be alive, he may try and protect her. She is his only child, so who know how he might react." Looking at the building directory, he sighed when he noticed they had to go up to the 9th floor. "The best thing for us to do is just find out about any trips or vacations Kelly may have taken with her mother in Washington State. Mr. Jones will learn soon enough how bad Kelly really is."

Taking Monk's arm, Natalie led him past the stairwell and over to the elevators. "I know you hate elevators, but I'm still a little gimpy…"she pushed the up button "…and I can't climb nine flights." Offering an apologetic smile, Natalie squeezed his bicep. "It'll be over before you know it."

"Over before I know it? We'll see about that." Monk took a deep breath and entered the claustrophobic death-box and stared straight ahead. The elevator stopped on the third floor and a woman carrying a drooling toddler got on. Shooting his eyes at Natalie, Adrian muttered emphatically, "Still not o-ver."

When the doors opened on the ninth floor, Adrian pressed himself behind Natalie, using her as a shield while exiting past the slobbering baby."That was close. How can something so small produce such a fountain of drool?" Shuddering as he walked up to the secretary, Adrian introduced Natalie and himself and asked for Mr. Jones.

"I'm sorry. Mr. Jones is not here today because he came down with the flu. All his meetings have been cancelled." The secretary coldly informed them and then turned away to answer the phone.

"So we made this journey through elevators and leaking children for no reason?!" Adrian turned to Natalie and vented. "I guess it doesn't matter. We need to talk to him today, so we'll just have to go to his address is in the case file." He walked with Natalie back to the elevator "Maybe we should pick up some extra wipes if we're going into Flu Territory."

* * *

Adrian steeled himself to the fact that the Jones residence had indeed been taken over by the Flu. The maid who answered the front door had a coughing fit as she showed Natalie and Monk to Mr. Jones, who was sneezing fitfully in his home office. Tissues were not only in the trash can, but also lay crumpled on the desk and floor. Bottles of medicine littered the desktop as Mr. Jones was unsuccessfully attempting to do some paperwork. Looking up at his visitors, he gruffly demanded,"This had better be important. Who are you and what do you want?"

Natalie was unnerved by this hostile greeting and silently retreated behind Monk. Adrian offered his apologies for intruding before he introduced Natalie and himself to Mr. Jones. Wanting to get out of this plague infected house as quickly as possible, Adrian got right to the point. "This may not seem important, but there was a picture missing from Kelly's mantle; it was of her and her mother, taken somewhere in Washington State. Do you remember where it was taken?"

"That's all you need to know? We had a small vacation home in Bellingham. I sold it after my wife died. I never liked it up there, too quiet, if you know what I mean." He got up and searched through a photo album. Finding the picture, Mr. Jones let out a loud cough while he pointed it out to Monk. Adrian held his hand over his mouth as he leaned over and glanced at the photo. "Those two went up there all the time without me." Mr. Jones heavily fell into his chair and blew his nose, causing Monk to flinch.

Natalie slipped a wipe into Adrian's hand and thanked Mr. Jones for his time. "That's all we need from you, sir. We'll see ourselves out." Once outside, she commented, "How unpleasant was that interview? I think Mr. Jones coughed at us on purpose!"

"I'm sure he did…I suppose you'll want hazardous duty pay for today!" Adrian sadly shook his head as they got into her car. "Let's go to the station house and give Leland the final clue to this case."

* * *

"Randy! Where's the Captain?" Natalie stood behind Randy, looking at the Captain's empty office.

"He's at the courthouse, testifying in a big drug case. He'll been gone all day. Why? Can I help?" Randy pushed away from his desk and eagerly looked back and forth between Adrian and Natalie.

"Actually you can help." Adrian, case file tucked under his arm, pointed at Randy's computer. "We need to find Kelly Jones, who disappeared to another state. Can you first check with an out-of- state assessors' office and see if this woman did a cash purchased on a house recently? I'm sure she is using an alias, but they might recognize her picture. Also, could you a send her photo and info out to the local authorities? She is a person of interest in an arson case. "

Sweeping his mouse around the mouse pad, Randy straightened himself in his chair. "Sure that's easy…Is this about Varla's brother?" He paused and looked at Natalie as he took the file from Monk. "Sharona told me about it the other day." Randy blushed slightly and returned to pecking at his keyboard. "Anyway, it's going to take some time getting this info. I can call you when I get something."

"Thanks Randy, we owe you one." Natalie patted Randy on the shoulder. "By the way, how is Sharona?" Unnoticed by Randy, she winked at Adrian. "I thought she said she was going to visit soon. She can stay with me if she wants to."

Randy reached over and adjusted the computer monitor. Then he readjusted the monitor, sighing distractedly as he couldn't seem to get it at the correct angle. "Yeah, she said in the next week or two…I'm not sure where she going to stay, though…It's not , hmm, finalized yet…I…I'm sure she'd appreciate your offer…" Tapping the keyboard once again, Randy cleared his throat. "I need to concentrate on this, so I'll call you. Okay?"

Taking pity on a noticeably embarrassed Randy, Monk captured Natalie's arm and started to lead her away. "Thanks so much Randy. We'll leave you to your work. Call when you know something… I mean, about the case." At the elevator door, he elbowed the down button and narrowed his eyes at Natalie. Once inside the elevator, he turned to Natalie in displeasure. "Why do you torment Randy? He's such a nice guy!"

Natalie was shocked at his overreaction. "I was only teasing him. He knows that."

"Maybe he does, but he's really a sensitive person. Randy finally has someone good in his life and _maybe_ we should be happy for him rather than try and make him feel uncomfortable!" Natalie's mouth hung open in shock at Adrian's admonishment. She knew nothing about Randy and Adrian's heart-to-heart campfire talk. Monk lowered his voice and looked away from Natalie. "Maybe he's sick of being singled out and ridiculed."

Confused on what to say, Natalie tried to read Monk's dark countenance. Was he identifying with the lack of respect given to Randy? Did _he_ feel disrespected? No, that couldn't be it. There had to be something else upsetting him. Just as Natalie was about to speak Adrian's name, the doors of the elevator opened and Monk practically ran out of the police station. Now in a state of absolute bewilderment, Natalie hobbled out the door and crashed right into Adrian, who was coming back into the station.

"What is going on?" Natalie stammered her voice fraught with concern. She managed to grab Monk by the arms and squarely stepped in front of him.

"I don't know, Natalie." Frustration crossed his face. "I think I need to try and sort out what's bothering me. I'm going to walk to Dr. Bell's office from here." He stepped backward, pulling himself from her grip. "I'll talk to you tomorrow." Not waiting for a reply, Adrian strode across the street, leaving Natalie dumbstruck, standing on the sidewalk.

However, Monk didn't walk directly to Dr. Bell's; his appointment wasn't for another three hours. Instead he took a detour that crossed the newly built 'Trudy Monk Memorial Park'. Sitting dejectedly on a bench, Adrian stared at all the children with their parents. Everyone, now even Randy, had a life. He didn't begrudge Randy his happiness, knowing that Randy had struggled so long with being the 'odd duck'. Monk really was glad Randy and Sharona were dating; they had always had a curiously odd, yet easy friendship. But this was just another reminder of how everyone else in his life had moved forward and changed. Adrian was tired of being stuck at square one, all alone. Randy had told Monk that it was just a matter of choosing to be happy. But how?


	8. Chapter 8 Dr Bell Has Some Questions

Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes: Therapy is not fun- it's hard work.

Chapter 8 Dr. Bell Has Some Questions

Adrian looked at his watch and noticed it was almost 2PM, only an hour until his appointment with Dr. Bell. Rising off the park bench, he silently berated himself as he started toward the psychiatrist's office. Had he made any progress at all in getting over any of his problems? Why did it seem that every time something good happened, there was equalizing negative reaction? Like when he solved the case of the murdering sculptor. Monk finally beat that smarmy lawyer, Harrison Powell, and his manipulative questioning; but then he felt compelled to straighten the microphone cord after hearing the guilty verdict. Or when he stood up to those Mafia hit-men, only to find that he couldn't get his refrigerator fixed without Natalie's back-up. His whole life seemed to be one step forward and then one step backward. Adrian was frustrated at not making any progress in his life.

Dr. Bell quickly read the agitation in his patient's demeanor. "What bothering you, Adrian? I sense you're having difficulty with something very important." He gestured for Monk to take his seat as he opened his notepad.

"You're right, today I'm not struggling with one of my silly phobias. I got really mad at Natalie earlier today. But I really wasn't mad at her, she just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time." Monk pressed the heels of his hands over his eyes and became tongue-tied over how to continue.

"So we need to uncover the real issue, Adrian. Tell me about what happened right before you got angry with Natalie." Neven leaned forward in his chair and laced his fingers together, overjoyed to hear Adrian label a phobia 'silly'. After all, who really has a fear of bees in blenders?

Monk proceeded to tell about the visit to the precinct when he had asked Randy to help with a case and how Natalie teased Randy about Sharona's upcoming visit. "For the life of me, I don't know why I got angry."

"I think you do know, Adrian…I think deep in your heart, you too want to move forward in your life, like Randy has, but are unable to. Is it because you equate moving forward with being disloyal to Trudy?"

Adrian looked down at the carpet and shrugged his shoulders. Could it really be that simple?

"Adrian, I need you to consider some questions. You don't need to answer right now but you need to be honest with yourself. Do you think you deserve to be happy? You depend on Natalie for so much. Is that because you really need an assistant or is there more to your relationship with her?" Adrian jerked his head up and looked at Dr. Bell, his eyes half closed in anger. Dr. Bell shook his head apologetically. "I'm sorry to say, Adrian, but I've observed how you and Natalie interact, and it seems to me you two are much more than coworkers. Your reaction to my question tells me quite a bit. You need to stop hiding and truthfully deal with what's happening in your life; your guilt, your hopes, your desires."

Adrian leaned back in his chair, folded his arms across his chest and groaned. "Isn't it enough that I decided to return my badge and remain a consultant?"

"That really was an important turning point in your life, Adrian, but is it enough for you? That's the real question…How far do you want to progress in your life? Is being satisfied with you job enough to make you happy?" Neven tapped his pen on his notepad. "Your demeanor today makes me think you're afraid to admit you're still searching, that there is something missing in your life."

Adrian forced a small laugh. "Randy told me it's a matter of choosing to be happy. Is it possible, Dr. Bell, to just will yourself to be happy? I mean, it seems to have worked for Randy."

Neven vehemently shook his head 'no'. "Randy is a totally different person than you, Adrian. He's hasn't had the struggles and ordeals that you have, so please don't think that what has worked for him will work for you. It takes time and effort to deal with the trials you've been through… I know you've said that solving Trudy's case means everything to you, but what if her case is unsolvable? " Dr. Bell held his hand out towards Monk, stopping him from answering. "You're the best detective on the planet and you haven't solved it. Maybe you are too close…it doesn't matter why you haven't solved it, Adrian. You want to solve Trudy's case for Trudy. My point is, _what do you want for yourself? "_

Monk checked his watch and got up from his chair. "Okay, Dr. Bell, I'll think about your questions…I had come here hoping you had some answers for me, though." Adrian woefully walked towards the door.

"I'm sorry, Adrian, but you have the answers inside of you." Dr. Bell rose from his chair, crossed to his desk and opened the top drawer.

Monk opened the door with his bare hand and nodded goodbye. "The answer is inside me? Dr. Kroger said the same exact thing."

As Monk closed the door, Dr. Bell took out Adrian's patient file and began transferring notes from today's session: Marked improvement in OCD symptoms; struggling with future/life issues; recognizes some phobias are employed as defense mechanism/willing to change?- Neven closed the file with satisfaction; today's session had been historic.

-----------------

Natalie was anxiously waiting outside Dr. Bell's office, leaning against her car."Hey Adrian! How was your session?" She immediately regretted asking when she saw the troubled look on his face. "Would you mind taking a ride with me?" Natalie tilted her head towards her car. "I want to show you something." Adrian silently went to the passenger side of the car and got in.

Natalie parked the car at an isolated parking lot facing the ocean. Encouraging Monk to get out of the car, she told him about this beach. "I found this spot years ago and come here whenever I need to get away from things and just think…" She sat on the car's hood and patted the spot next to her. Adrian gingerly sat on the edge of the hood, his feet firmly planted on the ground. Natalie slid herself closer to Monk and put her arm around his back. "You know I'm here for you, no matter what, okay?" Noticing an almost imperceptible nod, she rested her head against his shoulder and watched the ocean waves.

Crossing his arms in thought, Monk watched a pelican glide by. Trudy had always wanted him to be happy, so maybe he should stop mourning. It had been so long, over twelve years; maybe he should begin to live again. Natalie's touch brought his out of his reverie. She had saved his life so many times, perhaps she was about to save his life once again. Monk uncrossed his arms and timidly placed his clenched fist on her knee. Summoning all his courage, he opened his hand and tenderly caressed her knee. Adrian Monk was determined to finally escape his self-imposed isolation.

------------------

Parking in front of his apartment on Pine Street, Natalie tentatively took Adrian's hand and followed him up to his apartment. They hadn't spoken the entire ride home, the silence oddly uncomfortable. The shift in their relationship had become a major earthquake. They desperately needed to talk, but first they had to get away from all the distractions of the outside world. Natalie's heart dropped when they exited the stairwell and turned the corner to his apartment. In front of 2-G, Varla Davis stood waiting.

"Adrian, my hero! I've been here an hour waiting for you!" Varla took Adrian's arm and yanked him away from Natalie. She took his keys from his vise-like grip and unlocked the door, entering the apartment first. "I spoke to Lieutenant Disher and he told me how you solved the case…It's just a matter of them finding and arresting that evil woman! They're dropping the charges against my brother!" Varla hugged an unresponsive, dazed Monk and turned her attention to Natalie.

"Thank you for all your hard work, Natalie. Listen, why don't you take tomorrow off? I'll watch Kojak for you, my treat!" Varla winked at Natalie. "Randy told me Adrian has to appear at a Grand Jury hearing tomorrow, so I can take him to the courthouse. You don't have to worry about him starting any new cases without you… Besides, I'm sure you could use a day off!" Natalie started to say it wasn't necessary, but Varla grabbed her by the arm and ushered her to the front door. Varla owed Natalie this small favor, and she would not be denied. "Get out while you can, sister… your day off starts now!"

Adrian stood transfixed as Varla whirled around Natalie, practically dragging her to the door. Natalie called a weak 'goodbye' to Adrian and, in the blink of an eye, felt the swoosh of the door closing in her face. When she got downstairs to her car, Natalie looked up at his second floor apartment. Standing in the street, her heart sank; Adrian's window was empty…She didn't know he was busy locking Varla out of his apartment.

* * *

Notes: Okay folks, I'm about to trend into uncharted territory here – so I need some feedback. Either a PM or review would be appreciated! Who wants this upcoming Sunday to be a satisfying Valentine's Day?


	9. Chapter 9 Adrian Has Some Answers

Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes: Grateful thanks for all the reviews and PMs!

Chapter 9 Adrian Has Some Answers

At 4AM, Monk was fully dressed as he paced around his apartment. All night he had cried over Trudy's picture, confessing his feelings for Natalie. He had become distraught when her spirit didn't appear to reassure him and comfort him. The only other time she hadn't appeared was when he was taking that mood-enhancing medicine, Dioxnyl. Overcome with guilt, he was driven back to his most compulsive behavior. He went to the sink and frantically scrubbed his hands…While washing, his wedding ring easily slipped off his finger and fell to the floor. Adrian, picking up the ring, dropped to his knees and cried with joy. He knew Trudy had done for him what he had been unable to do for himself; Trudy had removed his wedding ring and set him free.

By 6AM, Adrian was unable to remain cooped up in his apartment. It was still too early to call or visit Natalie, so he decided to just go out and walk. Grabbing his wallet and keys, he ran down to the street without knowing where he was headed. After an hour of aimless walking, he noticed a familiar car on the side of the road. The Crown Victoria had a strange guitar-keyboard instrument in the back seat and was parked in front a shop. Just what type of shop, Monk couldn't tell. Newspapers were taped over the windows and the welcome mat in front of the door said 'Wipe Your Paws'. Not a good omen, but Adrian knew Randy was inside. The overhead bell tinkled as he opened the door.

"Hey, Monk! What brings you here? "The room was softly lit, so it took Monk a second to spot Randy. Swaying behind six women, Randy waved as he mimicked the moves of the women. Oh my God! This was a belly dancing class! Thankfully, Randy was wearing a sleeveless undershirt and sweatpants and not the traditional outfit worn by his classmates. Monk closed his eyes and prayed Randy would approach him.

"Monk? What's going on?" Randy was now standing in front of Adrian, partially blocking the view of the women.

"Randy?" Monk slowly opened one eye."Randy! Hi! I was passing by and saw you car…What's this, umh, this thing you're doing?" Adrian had finally opened his other eye and purposefully moved so that his back was to the women.

"I know it looks like belly dancing, but it's really a great abdominal workout! I call it '6-pack-with-benefits'! I mean, take a look at my abs…" Randy pulled his shirt up, revealing his rock hard gut. Monk looked away a second too late, catching a glimpse of Randy's very firm torso.

"Randy, please stop!" Monk squirmed as he looked at the ceiling, attempting to erase the unwanted vision of Randy's pink flesh from his mind.

"Hold on. Okay, Monk, I'm decent. "Randy finished tucking his shirt in. "My class is just about over, did you need a ride anywhere?"

"Yes, I need to go to court, if you're going that way."

"Sure. Wait outside, I'll be done in five minutes. -We still have to do the 'snake arms with hip undulation' dance."

* * *

As Randy parked in front of the courthouse, Monk asked to borrow his cell phone. Dialing Natalie's number, he was momentarily shocked at how Natalie answered.

"What do you want, Randy? Didn't you hear, I was replaced by Varla!?" Natalie's annoyed tone made Adrian flinch.

"No, Natalie…It's me, Adrian, you know, Monk." He exited the car and stood by the front fender. Randy followed Monk out of the car and onto the sidewalk.

"Oh, I'm so sorry…Where are you?" Natalie felt herself blush, uncertain what to say.

"I'm headed into court- I think this may take all day. I'll call you later, so we can talk. If that's alright…" Monk noticed Randy's stare and walked up the sidewalk.

"Yes, call me later. I guess I'll get some chores done around the house. But we need to talk…"

After saying goodbye, Adrian handed the phone back to Randy. "Thanks for the ride over here."

"Monk, can I ask you a question? Is everything alright?" Randy was really concerned. His sixth sense was tingling, and he never doubted this gut feeling.

"Everything is going to be alright…Nothing to worry about, Randy. Thank You." Monk felt a rush of affection for Randy. He reached out and, ever so quickly, touched Randy's arm. "See you later." Adrian then turned and ran up the courthouse steps.

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Adrian had always loved going to court and testifying, even after the Harrison Powell fiasco. He knew that he was not only sending a bad guy to jail, he was restoring order in this chaotic world. But today was different. Today he fidgeted and sighed impatiently for this day in court to be over. Today he had something more important on his mind.

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Natalie had a horrible day. After her brief talk with Adrian in the morning, she had decided to spend her day off doing chores. Not that she was becoming a neat freak, but things had to be done around the house. Unfortunately, everything she did was cursed. When she cleaned the bathroom, she spilled the bleach and ruined the throw rug. When she did the laundry, she didn't notice a pen in her pocket and ruined her favorite blouse. While dusting, she knocked a figurine on the floor and it broke into a hundred pieces. As it neared dinnertime, she was at her wits end. She grabbed a pint of ice cream and went to relax in the living room.

At exactly 6PM, Natalie's phone rang. Knowing it would be Adrian, she tried to put a cheerful inflection in her voice as she answered,"Hey stranger!"

"Natalie…What's wrong?" After years together, Adrian could tell Natalie's mood in an instant.

Natalie described all the tragedies that had vexed her day. Realizing her frustration level was still sky high, Natalie wondered if they could postpone their 'talk'. "Adrian, I've had such a bad day and am still in an awful mood…Could we maybe delay our talk until tomorrow?" Natalie hoped he would understand her dilemma and wouldn't be scared off.

"Sure…Whatever you want…We'll talk later." Adrian regretfully said goodbye to Natalie. Hanging up the phone, he cursed his luck. He had finally decided to confess his feelings to Natalie and now this!? Determined to not spend another day alone, Adrian started the trek to Natalie's home.


	10. Chapter 10 Solace Found

_**Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Monk.**_

_**Notes: WARNING- BEFORE YOU READ THIS CHAPTER – ADULT CONTENT IN CHAPTER 10:** If you think Adrian and Natalie are not ready for a physical relationship, or are just generally opposed to the idea, stop reading now! - However, after much consideration, I believe Adrian has truly changed and matured and deserves to finally find complete happiness with Natalie. Is this out-of-character for Monk? I don't think so – Is this out-of -character for Natalie? No way!_

**Chapter 10 Solace Found**

About an hour later, Adrian arrived at Natalie's home, opening the front door with an enthusiastic "Hello! " He was carrying a bag of groceries that contained some food, a small bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine.

Natalie was still on the couch, surprised to see Adrian at her door. "What's going on?"

Adrian smiled at her as he started to walk to the kitchen, "It sounded like you needed a little pampering this evening…So just stay relaxed on the couch and I'll make you a 'real' dinner."

Natalie did stay on the couch but slyly watched Adrian move around the kitchen. Even though he was so precise in measuring and slicing everything, she noticed he was making a conscience effort to finish each task quickly. He then set the table, put the flowers by her place setting and poured her a glass of wine. Adrian dimmed the kitchen lights and cheerfully called out to her "Your dinner is served, Madame."

Natalie came to the table, admiring all his efforts. She immediately noticed that the table settings were not symmetrical, her flowers disrupting the perfect balance. She was touched that he had made such an effort to cheer her up. They sat and ate together in a comfortable silence, shyly smiling at one another.

Natalie insisted on helping him clean up and was tasked with drying the dishes, while he scrubbed everything to his spotless standards. After everything was cleaned and put away, Adrian finally asked Natalie what was really bothering her.

"I guess I was just feeling sorry for myself today. I never planned on things working out the way they have. Especially now that Julie's all grown up and is leaving me." Natalie seemed lost.

"Natalie, you can always depend on me for anything, you know that, right? And about Julie, well…" he walked over to the doorway of the kitchen and touched a pencil mark on the door jam, "She will always be your little girl."

Natalie came over next to Adrian and put her finger on a pencil mark that indicated Julie's height, remembering Julie as she was; tiny and helpless and sweet. She then touched the mark Adrian had touched, remembering the first day he had come into their lives. Adrian had helped her simply because she had asked. Adrian was always there for her and Julie, no matter what. Just like Mitch. Natalie understood that she had been blessed a second time. Natalie was startled out of her daydream when she realized what had been in front of her all night… something she had just noticed…

She reached out and gently touched Adrian's left hand, "You took off your wedding ring?"

As he felt her hand graze his, Adrian caught his breath. He knew that what he did _this moment_, right now, would be the bravest thing he ever did. He stepped closer to Natalie, wanting to tell her everything, but was suddenly at a loss. Mere words could not convey the depths of his feelings or how desperately he wanted their relationship to change and grow. Nervously searching her eyes, he answered in barely a whisper "Yes, I took off my wedding ring."

Natalie put her arms around Adrian and hugged him tight. The unending solitary nights of the past week had led Natalie to an epiphany. Something she knew two years ago, when she thought he was dead. Something she now accepted as undeniable. She had fallen in love with Adrian Monk and had to tell him…Right now.

Savoring his clean scent and relishing the warmth of his body, she became lightheaded as she felt his arms tighten around her waist. Not wanting to let go but, at the same time, wanting to look at his face, Natalie loosened her grip and pulled away slightly. When their eyes met, she immediately knew his feelings for her… Unable to stop herself, she leaned forward and softly kissed him. When they parted, she smiled and shyly looked down in disbelief. This was really happening, and she had started it!

Adrian ran his hand along Natalie's cheek and under her chin and tilted her face upward. His breathing became shallow as he held her gaze, a slight smile on his lips. All of his hopes and dreams and desires were stirred by Natalie. With complete trust, he let go of his fear and offered up to her his unprotected heart. "I think I'm ready to be happy again…because of you, Natalie…I love you."

"I've loved you for so long…" Natalie's voice grew raspy as she fought back a flood of tears. Placing her hand on his chest, she felt his racing heartbeat and whispered, "I love you Adrian." She leaned forward for another kiss, slipping her hands back around his neck.

Her kisses were soft and gentle, but he soon wanted more from her. Deeply kissing her in return, his sense of restraint fell away. Feeling her hands caress his shoulders, he pulled her even closer. He allowed his hands to roam over her body. When he unintentionally touched the bare exposed skin between her blouse and pants, he lost his inhibitions. He slipped his hands under her blouse and caressed her bare flesh. Natalie broke from their kiss and let out a soft moan. Slowly drawing one hand over his shoulder to his collar, she kissed his neck as she started to unbutton his shirt. When she got to the forth button, Adrian laid his hand on hers.

"Natalie…" God, what was he going to say? He didn't want her to stop…she was still nuzzling his neck and kissing his collarbone. Every cell in his body ached for her touch. Why did he feel compelled to say something? Burying his face in her hair, he squeezed her hand and murmured "Natalie?"

She brushed her lips against his neck and longingly looked up at him. Eyes wild with desire, she placed a feverish kiss on his mouth. Natalie then slid her hand on top of his hand and brought his hand to her face. Lightly kissing his palm, she whispered to him, "Adrian, come upstairs with me. Make love with me." Entwining her fingers with his, she pulled him in close for another kiss, a kiss he eagerly returned. She then led him to the staircase.

Holding hands, they slowly ascended the stairs. Natalie was one step ahead of Adrian but kept her face turned towards him, their gazed unwavering. When he got to the top step, Adrian stopped dead. "Natalie…" He was suddenly humiliated by his inexperience. The thought of ruining this perfect evening made him stammer. "Natalie, I'm, I mean, it's been a real long time since I-" Not able to meet her gaze, he shamefully looked at the floor.

Squeezing his hand, Natalie sat on the top step and pulled him down next to her."Listen to me. You, I mean, we, don't have anything to worry about." She gave him a quick soft kiss as she stroked his arm. "Making love is a learning process. We need to get used to each other. It won't be perfect every time, but that's okay. Each time it will get better. We'll teach each other." Natalie then smiled broadly "We can even give each other 'homework assignments'. Don't be nervous, Adrian, I love you."

Adrian smirked at her 'homework' comment, and then drew his arms around her and hugged her tightly. He needed the solace found in her arms. Adrian tenderly whispered "I love you Natalie, with all my heart. And I trust you completely. Come on." He stood and helped her up. Still holding her hand, Adrian followed Natalie into the bedroom and closed the door behind them.

* * *

The next morning, Adrian awoke gradually, aware that his world had changed forever. He felt a not unpleasant weight on his chest and a scorching heat along his left side. Opening his eyes, he found Natalie's body resting against his; her arm across his stomach and her head on his chest. He tenderly traced his hand along her arm and remembered last night. Everything they had talked about and, everything they had done… She had been right, of course. Their first time wasn't perfect, at moments it was both clumsy and awkward. But they got through it together, satisfied with what they lovingly taught one another. Natalie had also been right about something else. The second time _was_ so much better.

Adrian closed his eyes and reflected on this new life with Natalie. Beautiful, lovely Natalie. She was what he had longed for all along. She had brought him back to life. He was starting over. Comforted by her rhythmic breathing, he grew pensive about their future together... And,as Natalie started to awaken, delighted as he wondered about the third time.

* * *

_To be continued…_

**Happy Valentine's Day!**


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